Fancy. In my sleep-deprived state I keep mistaking Cook for something naughty. So, yeah, I'm gonna do a rainbow legacy. It's a legacy (duh) but each generation is dedicated to a color. And I put ten colors in a randomizer, and my founder here, Tyron Cook, got green.
...
Ok, he got pink, but then I rerolled. I can't be too mean to him so soon. So, if you're not familiar with how I play, I disregard most of the rules and torture sims with dry humor. And I swear. Also, there's crude sex jokes because I have a dirty mind.
Closer pan up of his face. No genetic playing here, just going with the usual pretty breeding. Of course, we're in Moonlight Falls, which could get dicey. Also, he's a Witch, but that's emasculating, so I'll call him a wizard. Like Harry Potter.
...really? That's your intro?
Tyron: What? I didn't know this came with a script.
No wiseass remark, no corny racist Black dialogue, nothing?
Tyron: Nope. Just me standing in a lot of grass with my dog. Waiting.
You're killing me.
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| And here's his doggie, Sadie. Sadie: What is with the generic last name, Toots? (In my mind, she has the voice of a Boston-bred raspy woman, just go with it, I'm insane) Well, I clicked the random name button and got Cook. Couldn't think of anything catchy, like Chim-Chim-Cheree. Sadie: You're gonna be a hella fun simmer. Look, gimme a ball and some Kibble and I'll be just peachy, Cream Cheese. -__- Dogs giving me attitude. That's original. |
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| His traits. Pay no attention to fact this pic wasn't taken several sim days after the first. Because the thing I forget quickly before doing chapters is traits. Totally random rolled these by the way. I was prepared to go into this with the worst possible sim ever, but thankfully, Tyron's just a disciplined, noctural drama queen of perfection. And he likes supernatural stuff. |
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| Here da house! With an ugly brown patch of tile! Ugh, too lazy to fix it. |
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| Tyron: "...why you gotta make a brotha walk to the house?" It's not an issue of race. I torture all of my sims equally. |
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| I don't know, I think I could just slap some paint on the walls and the grass could be your floor! Sadie (off-screen): Oh, boy, I do enjoy fleas! Stuff it, Cream Cheese. It's Chelsea. Sadie: Don't give a fuck. You're a dog, not a cat. You don't have the right not to give fucks. Sadie: Cats are pussies. >< |
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| really. The first thing you notice is the window. Tyron: Whoa, you could afford windows. Obviously you don't how a legacy works. I know how Force Kill works. Tyron: What, is a Jedi going to slay me? *bum ta pish* |
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| Sadie: Hello, human. To what do I owe the pleasure? Tyron: Just going to brush your fur a bit. Sadie: I'm an hour out of CAS, bub. And that brush feels like it was crafted from nails, OUCH. I'm not a damn cat. Don't be racist against cats. Sadie: Cats are the anti-Christ.  |
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| Well, you know the key to a potential spouce's heart--rusty, novice guitar strums. Tyron: As long as I got my suit and tie... Imma leave it all on the floor tonight... ARGH, not D flat! shit! Oh, yeah. The panties will be flying. |
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| Sadie: Window. *headdesk* |
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| Llama: Doin' my pimp walk down your walkway, my uniform looks it's made of pasta, Imma leave a green bucket of stuff for college, because it's just that easy! I hope you get heat stroke. |
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| Llama: Good evenin', sir. Fine tunes. Fiiiiine tunes. FUCK OFF. |
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| Tyron gets a job in the Architect career. Because I love decorating other sims' vastly wealthy manors. Sadie: If sarcasm was vodka, you'd be drunk right now. If only. |
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| Thought I told you to fuck off. Llama: Vo Gerbits! NO. I had enough of that shit in the Sims 2. Llama: Gerbits? If you value your higher education, I'd leave before I Force Kill you into an uneducated llama ghost. |
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| Taught Sadie to hunt. 'Cause she needs to be useful for something. Sadie: Heard that, Cream Cheese. Look for my appreciation outside in the rosebushes. Even though the inside is grassy, she still goes outside to relieve herself. Which is awfully nice of her. Sadie: I'm a dog, not an animal. I've never owned a dog, though I have a cat that likes to act like its a dog by humping things, comme ca: |
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| Time to scope out some bitches. This one looks like she's about to pop into grannyhood. GirlWhoseNameisUnimportant: I take offense to that. If I cared any less, I'd be in a coma. |
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| GOOD LORD. GoblinNose: What? If this was an uglacy, I'd be head over heels. |
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| GirlWhoseNameisStillUnimportant: Oh, look, I'm magically fat. Tyron: That's a...useless ability. I don't know. Could be effective to ward off bar flies that want to grope you. |
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| Oh, great. More Goths. Frida Goth: I swear, I woke up from bed one morning to find myself in a room with a fireplace and like 50 throw rugs. And then...I died. Couldn't blame them. You are a Goth. |
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| Fairy Queen over here doesn't like 'em much either. FairyQueen: Damn Goths and their richness and weirdness. Also Bella Goth is a whore. LadyinGreen: Her transparent wings make me hella creepy. BadlyTexturedPark: Chelsea's computer is too lame to render long distance lots. LOL |
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| Tyron: This doesn't look suggestive at all! Hmmph. Reminds me when the Harry Potter franchise put out a vibrating broomstick. Let's just say, girls LOVED it. I think they had to recall it because it was turning into a sex toy. |
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| For some reason, Tyron's skin blanches from time to time. He looks like he was rolling around in chalk. Tyron: Soup. You have a skin disease and you're going to eat soup and not care? Tyron: Pretty much. *RANDOM DOG HUNTING SEQUENCE GO* |
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| Way to go. We can afford a yacht now. |
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| D'aww. I can't stay mad. Lookit the sleepy puppy!!! WUBWUBWUB Sadie: If you don't cut it the fuck out, I'll knife ya, Cream Cheese. |
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| Whoa, how much are you giving me to work with here, now? Shit, I'd build my own Taj Mahal. Fuck you bitches and your painting and shit. |
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| Tyron: Oh, God. I messed up a kid's painting room. I'm a Perfectionist. I'm going to cry in the tub with some Absolut and Chunky Munky. |
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| Why...you little punk ass. ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ |
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| So we did the adult thing. We scared him. SCREW YOU AND YOUR PURPLE SHORTS |
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| No, cheapass camera, I do not believe that is a car. Keep trying, you can do it! ☜(⌒▽⌒)☞ |
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| Gnome: *gulp* Look...I swears that wasn't me bag of grass. I was holdin' it for a friend. Flamingo: Nice try, come on, both hands up. Cuff him. Flamingo 2: Gnome Gnomeliton, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say or do will be held against you in a court of law... Stayed tuned for the next episode of Pink Bloods. |
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| Sadie: Running around, have no qualms about starving to death in the rain~ Dog logic. Cat logic is: Feed me or die. Or wake up with vomit in your slippers. |
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| Why do you keep going from dark chocolate to milk chocolate? Graphical glitches. Welcome to the Sims 3. Remember when it first came out? There were 'HALP mah game iz plox' forums as long as the Great Wall. Of which I contributed to often.
  Tyron: *blank* Are you stuck? Tyron: *is stuck* Goddamnit...*reset sim*  So, we finished up a job right? I thought it was good. Then Tyron had to WAIT FOREVER for her to SHOW UP just so she could tell me it SUCKED. GACK.   Something Wolff (very creative): Ruh-ro!  Beating women, the game.  That sounds so wrong. Tyron: Oh, it's about to look worse.    Must...resist...crude...joke...  Well, that's enough for an introductory chapter. NEXT TIME...will something more happening with this couple? Will I ever get a unicorn? Will 9pm ever come so I see the premiere of Season 6 of True Blood?
ALSO, if you are into totally unrelated things like Skyrim...check out my new channel on YT: http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKFopQmQ64vy7bzRBGpMffw?feature=watch
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I enjoyed reading this. I like your sense of humor and writing style :D
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. =D
DeleteAnd thanks for popping the comment box cherry. =D =D