The Bees' Knees Prettacy! Chapter Deux!

Pam Swynford deBeaufort greets you this chapter by mocking me.
"Photograph this, bitch."
Anyway, welcome back to the Bees Knees Prettacy, where my True Blood sims are more interesting than my founder. Seriously, all Bobbie does is work, eat, sleep, and...be ugly.

Why does Pam's wife and progeny, Tara, look so nervous?

Oh.
Yeah, I could see how that'd give you the heebie jeebies. Here's Bobbie Bee, the ugliest fairy ever. Tinkerbell, she is not.
"I wanna to do bad things to yoooooooooou~~~"
Dear God.

Legacy living. Right. I bought her the cheap fairy house so she won't be freezing her ass off living on a nearly empty lot. We're broker than broke, people. Plus, Bobbie being a Social Butterfly constantly gives her the "It's Like I'm Invisible" moodlet and her Social burns out like ovaries during a True Blood sex scene. 

So, this girl looks promising. Can't remember her name for the life of me, because I played this like two days ago. She has a weird nose, but we can't be picky too early in the legacy.

Of course, she ended up being a psychotic, slapping whore. The search continues.

*snorts*
Nice outfit, Godric. Does it come in hetero?
Yeah, we're not hitting up the Northman pools until our heirs look somewhat presentable. 

ZOMG, it's the hovercat!! It's my simself's cat, Ergon! or Eagon, Eon, something like that. 

Well, you look...fairly average. Wouldn't choose you for a regular legacy, but I can't be that picky this early in the game.
"Thanks? Bitch."
Don't mention it. 

Oh, we got compatibility! 

Yeah, hate to break up the date, but that random horse is rearing to kick your spine out of alignment.
Also, Meatsack, why are you all the way over here from the Northman mansion?
Meatsack: "Oh, give me a break. Sookie's spitting out so many kids, it's like her vagina's a clown car."
*blinks* 

Aw, it's actually a sweet picture. Of course, any picture without Bobbie's face in it is sweet.

Yeah, when you're done with that, just make sure to mail her back her nose.

So we got propositioned...from Pyramid Head. Except he keeps marrying and remarrying, so his name is like Pyramid Swynford deBeaufort-Merlotte-Head now. Funny thing, he is the most stalkerish sim in the Nrass Story Progression memos. Well, next to Bill Compton.
Should totally add characters from Silent Hill 2 to this town. 

Just because I forgot it last chapter, here is an "eating-cereal-on-the-crapper-because-I'm-too-cheap-to-buy-chairs" picture.
"This is popcorn."
And you're eating with a fork? 

This is what the lot looks like. It's a shithole. 

And the kitchen back there. 

To get what a badass mf'ing bossman this guy is, just read this while listening to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLNpDHNPQS0
(Technically it's from Silent Hill 3, which isn't the game Pyramid Head it is in, but the shitty movies used it for as his theme)

Yeah, he was just doing a walkby. Would be more intimidating if he wasn't an Adonis from the neck down.
"I am scary."
You're holding your knife like a cane.
"FEAR ME."
You're GLISTENING, for Chrissakes.

Oh, what's this? Has the leafpile become a new occult? 

OH, jolly frolic in the leaves, I geddit. I don't know, leaves are prickly and have bugs on them. You don't want to be hatching larvae out of your fajita, now.
Bobbie: "Totally killing the romance here!"
I say that bloated, blue monstrosity sitting on your fat neck kills anything if stared at too long.

I hate roommate AIs.
BED. YOURS. SLEEEEP.
Mandy: "Does not compute. Splash in puddle."
Oi vey.

Mandy: "ZOMG, a polished rat turd on a band made from grass, you shouldn't have!"
Bobbie: "Nothing but the best for my sugarlips." 

So they married. Mandy became Mandy Bee. And came into the family with no money because she's a PUTZ. Now I have to open the game to get your stats, UGGGGH. I think she was Childish, Stupid, Cheap, Horse-faced, and Blind. Amirite?

Bobbie: "Now to exfoliate your brains out!"
I want mine bleached. 

WELP. Don't know what look I was going for here. Starved socialite celebrity wearing a long sweater for an outfit, maybe. All's that missing is the $200 sunglasses and a soy mocha-frappuccino (whatever the hell that is) and a tiny, scrawny dog in a $5000 purse.
I hate those kind of women. 

Mandy is actually Childish, Easily Impressed, has a Good Sense of Humor, is a Party Animal, and loves Perfection. Don't see why she's with Bobbie though.
"You made me."
Well, a sim with a backbone would have put up more of a fuss. 

Squirrel: "Infiltrated the lot, hunting for the 'Munks. Damn sneaky bastards, probably whoring around the gardens. This is almost as bad as the Groundhog Wars. Still don't know how those terrorists got a holiday."

Chipmunk: "Squirrel on lot, I repeat, squirrel on lot. How much firepower we got left? ...Dale, I know we haven't wasted that many nut grenades. Those were plastic lawn ornaments, ya half a meatball! I know because I took a bite out of those flamingoes and broke half my teeth!"

"MAYDAY MAYDAY yellow monster approaching FALLBACK"

"I was about to get a Purple Acorn. No, you can't do this do me, Squirrel God. No...I was not destined to be ended by a blue goblin!"

Yay, baby time! 

Zombie Nawaaf, quit eating our produce! Kudos on your lame generated name by the way. 

Good Jebus, that poor fucker's eating away at you from the inside, Mandy.
She then went into labor.
Where was her wife?

*sigh*

Gah, blue baby. Is that a good thing or a bad thing in this predicament? I named her Honey. Honey Bee.
What? Like you didn't those names coming.

And Mandy promptly left her daughter on the floor to do other shit. Great parenting!

Since we've had our first child of the legacy and still live on the lawn, I've adapted Mandy to a more fitting style. Trailer trash.
"Well, Christ alive, this lawn needs-a trimmin'. Also need to reinforce them there signs to keep those damn vampires off my lawn."
That's racist.
"That's Amuricah." 

GET OUT OF OUR LEAVES.

When Mandy's not being a totally useless parent, she's a Magician.
"You know, when I became a witch, I wasn't expecting much. My letter from Hogwarts, a big giant pedophile carrying me off to a secret magical shopping district, some old geezer giving me a wand made of dragon heartstring and owl snot. You know, not much."
You are not a witch, you are a magician. Later on, I might get her to buy a Bottle Blessing of the Fae so she won't dry up before her child-rearing days are over.

And the only one in attendance to this...travesty, is Eric.
"Why would I come to a magic show? Especially after what happened in Season 4..."
Well, if it didn't, you wouldn't have Sookie now, would ya?
"Yes, it takes a spe-"
SHH NO SPOILERS.
"Bitch, don't shush me. I will end you." 

...
I expected the first generation to be a LOT uglier.
Seriously, she got Bobbie's skin and sort of got her alien eyes, and I think her cheeks. 

ZOMG, it's an actual building. I might faint.

If you'd kindly ignore the burnt stove, you'll see a kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. It's like this is a house of some sort. Huh.

What does Mandy do upon unpausing the game?
I don't know whether I hate her or love her yet. 

What miracle from Wright made you so cotton-pickin' cute?
"The love and attention from my parents?"
No, that's not it.

Christ on a Rice Krispie treat.
I did not age well.
*REVERT*

There. No kidding, in Nrass, I have like 6 kids. They all look like me. It's creepy. 

Finally made Mandy a fairy. I think once all the kids I want to have this gen grow to be young adults, I'll age them to elders. All of the occults have longer spans, except the vampires, I have a mod that makes them live forever. 

I got a horse! Because I don't have enough problems. I named her/him Bumble (honestly forgot what gender it is, sad).

And as Bumble Bee eats Mandy's hair (it does look like hay), I'm going to bid you adieu. Sorry for the gap in posts, I recently had a birthday. I got all I wanted, except Alexander Skarsgard in a vat of Nutella. Oh well.
Faretheewell, mes amis! Until next time.